Party of One


I feel like I’m the only person on the Western Hemisphere that didn’t like The Last of Us. I’m sure there’s one in China or somewhere. I don’t like stealth. I can tolerate survival. Together, I absolutely abhor the combination. I’m about to commit video game blasphemy here but I felt the same way about the Metal Gear series. I played MGS2 and loved it. Best gaming experience at the time hands down. But the gameplay, the sneaking around, and the restarting every time an enemy saw me, made me discontinue playing the next installments. I didn’t touch a Metal Gear until Guns of the Patriots on PS3. I may have missed out on some good games but I also saved myself some controller-throwing frustration.


The Last of Us is definitely one of the most beautiful games I’ve ever had the privilege of playing. It’s what I thought the PS4 would look like. That being said, I like choices in gaming. Even if I can’t sneak around this zombie or that monster and I get seen, I’d like to be able to do more than get killed by said zombie or get killed by 50 zombies at once. The only option in the few hours I played The Last of Us was sneak and be undiscovered, even though the things don’t have eyes, or get mobbed by too many zombies to kill with the sparse ammo and weapon choice. It’s just annoying for me and the only time I had fun was when I was watching the beautiful cutscenes.


I’ll be returning this game to Gamestop and see how much I can put on GTA5. I know you’re saying he just wants instant lowbrow gratification and trigger pulling repetition. You’re right. Grand Theft Auto is successful because people aren’t afraid to let their inner frat boy out. You can’t always play the strategic, survival, sell-your-soul-for-just-one-bullet gameplay of The Last of Us or the old Resident Evils. I also like the new REs better than the old. I know, heresy, right? Scrounging for one box of bullets and placing each shot perfectly on the head of an army of undead is just as boring to me as ripping an AK loose against a mob of FBI agents is to you.


If I want sneaking, murdering, and richly-involved stealth action I’ll pick up Assassin’s Creed. Ezio always had a plethora of choices. The above-mentioned Metal Gear Solid 4 turned into one of my top 3 games of all time because 1, I didn’t have to restart the damned checkpoint every time a guard saw me and 2, there was always plenty of ammo and a huge collection of guns. I mean, these guys are beyond-elite, super soldiers of the future. They wouldn’t be in need of more ammo or scrounging weapons off dead bodies.




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So in conclusion, if anybody did read this they probably think I’m some clueless asshole insulting their favorite games. That’s true. Except the clueless part. I’ve been playing games since the first Nintendo with small breaks in between. I’ve played at least one game in every major franchise, except XBox exclusives, since Super Mario Bros. Video Games are a passion for me, not just a hobby. Either way, I’ll update this post after I return The Last of Us and let you know what the Gamestop employee’s face looked like. Because when I went, there were no used ones available. He told me no one was returning it. That’s ok because nobody was buying it when I posted it on Craigslist so I guess I’m not the only one.


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